i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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