if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
