Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
