Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
