I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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