1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
