I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
