My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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