Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
