the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
