last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
