How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
