So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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