they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
