If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize