he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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