You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize