it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
