Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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