dude i'm inner monologue high
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I woke up under a house in Key West
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
