i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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