Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
