He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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