omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize