chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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