The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
return my video game
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
