becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
