My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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