Kareoke will never be a sober sport
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
