This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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