O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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