Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
