I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
