weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
