i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
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