i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
