he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
