I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
