It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
