I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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