Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
