i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
