Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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