We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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