I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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