Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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