I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize