"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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