I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
