Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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