sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Congratulations! We have a period
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