direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize