He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
