He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
