either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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