the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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