I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
