afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize