what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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