she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
