Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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