:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize