my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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